Taking Control Of My Career “Happily Ever After”

My photo of a beautiful mural on the road near Honolulu.

I watched a lot of romantic comedies growing up. The handsome stranger always turns up when our heroine is least expecting it. She is unknowingly shopping for gloves and he reaches for the same pair, or he walks into the convenience store just as she’s falling apart over the hotdog machine in some gorgeous, high-end gown. Maybe the two destined-to-be lovers are bookends to a terrible middle-seat mate on a cross-country flight in a classic “meet cute.” In any case, the heroine didn’t have to do anything but get out there and life just magically happens around her.

Life Is Not A Fairy Tale

So here’s the part where I compare and contrast finding a fairy tale ending in a movie to my career change journey. To say I’ve been sitting around waiting for things to come to me is unfair. Do I daydream that the phone will just ring or an email will come and be the one? Yes. Yes, I do. Do I wish someone (best friend in the movie) would shake me by the shoulders and say — hey, this is what you should do because it will make you so happy and you’d have the flexibility and joy you’re seeking? Yes. Yes, I do.

A friend told me years ago (somewhat painfully) to get out of the movie I think I’m in. I know I’m not in a movie now, but I have been open to what the universe has been sending my way. I’m answering calls and emails, and I’ve met a ton of great people who are so willing to help. I’ve been trying new things, listening to ideas and entertaining the opportunities where others see a place for me. I’ve followed familiar and adjacent paths and some new ones. I’ve found some smoke and a few lights, but not the spark. Not yet.

Accidentally On Purpose

It’s time to increase the intentionality of my approach, to take more control over what I’m trying. As I enter a new phase, I feel like it’s worth reviewing the phases I’ve been through this year (I so want to draw a graph here):

Phase I. Sabbatical WHAT?: Sleep, eat, Netflix, mountain-climbing, think about tattoos, rock ‘n roll, wine and crying

Phase II. Post-job Circus Ride: A rollercoaster of panic, relief, “the world is my oyster” days, podcast-dreaming, selling household wares online and figuring out “who am I without my job”

Phase III. All By Myself: Get out of the house and do something, anything

Phase IV. Pull Off The Band-Aid: Start writing and putting myself out there

Phase V. Work It, Own It, Pass The Test: Testing out and eliminating multiple paths (also the summer of the low, low valley)

Phase VI. And There Was Light: New school year, new hope, new job experiments and interviews with real potential.

Phase VII. “Be The Ball, Danny”: Time to be more intentional — YOU ARE HERE!

Focus The Camera

For this phase, I need to focus on a few things:

1. Get further out of my comfort zone toward what I really want.
2. Further refine what I really want and enjoy
3. Be honest about answering #2 — no “should-ing”
4. More deliberately designing my life and less hoping for a well-timed “meet cute”

My Prince Charming of a career move is out there. I just need to sharpen my approach, keep going, grab the bull by the horns and intentionally go after those things that move me closer to the dreams I entertained in Phase II with the grounding, healing and confidence I’ve gained since. I can get started right away writing my own happy ending.

Art from the Chicago Museum of Modern Art. Photo taken by author.