Follow The Energy To Find Your People

“Happiness is a risk.  If you’re not a little scared, then you’re not doing it right.” - Sarah Addison Allen

I’m A Mushroom-Eating Alien

I attended my second ever writer’s conference this week, one hour away from where I grew up, and I felt like an alien.  During my career change, I’ve been exploring what to do with my passion for writing.  It’s been running parallel to, and sometimes intersecting with, my fractional CMO (chief marketing officer) business.  Attending this workshop was a litmus test to see how or if I can make my writing hobby more than my blog.  For those of you who followed along last year as I debated where to take my career, one of my fantasies was writing books by the ocean.  I also shared I fantasized about living in a yurt out west, which prompted some unintended references to mushrooms - not the kind you put on pizza.

Uncomfortable On Purpose

Speaking of being uncomfortable, exploring new paths is a sure-fire way to find yourself out of your comfort zone.  After science and business degrees and decades of corporate, biotech America, I can tell you that people of my species do not flock to writer’s workshops.  As someone who loves learning about new cultures, I didn’t expect to do so much anthropology work this week, while learning about memoirs, finding a hook and storytelling basics.  I felt like an engineering student at a party for journalism majors.  I don’t have a newsroom brand of cigarettes; I haven’t written a funny song about Jell-O or had a spiritual experience; and my throwback, weathered t-shirt was actually pretty expensive.  I’m just another Gen-X chameleon, sliding between groups, hoping to find my people.

No Can Be Helpful

After a day’s worth of informative classes, I drove away.  What I learned is committing fully to this writer’s off ramp isn’t the next crescendo in my career.  Although I’ve learned a lot about writing and made connections with awesome people at both workshops (shout out to DonJay, April, Melissa, Christianne, Shirley and Jody), I found myself gravitating toward the marketing and business of writing.  This is important data to add to my existing data set.  As one author told us, “Follow the energy!”

Follow The Energy

My energy told me to leave the workshop early.  My energy also told me to drive through Sioux Rapids, a small town in northern Iowa, on my way home.  It’s been decades since I’ve been in this town.  My grandparents grew up here, and I remember visiting my great-grandma when I was little.  She was tiny, pretty, crocheted blankets, made really hard Rice Krispie peanut butter balls and had a great smile.  My uncle says we are all watered down versions of her, for better or worse.

I spent two hours in Sioux Rapids at the Lone Tree Cemetery.  After phone calls with my mom and aunt, I located gravestones for two sets of my great-grandparents, one set of great-great-grandparents and two sets of great-great-great-grandparents.  My great-great-great-grandpa was Torkel Torkelson, born in 1830 in Norway.  He came to the US during the Civil War and traveled from Chicago to Wisconsin and finally settled his family on the Little Sioux River in a log cabin, where he eventually had a large, successful farm and was a community leader.

As I walked around, taking pictures and avoiding the garter snakes, I thought a lot about my people - both my ancestors, the people in my life now and those to come.  What do I want to leave behind for the next generations?  What do I want my great-great-great-grandchildren to know about me?  What difference will I have made?

Ready For Results

The results of my career experiment this week show that I’m not ready to give up my business and science pursuits to become a writer by the ocean yet, and I want to continue to pursue making a difference in a way that my makes my people proud.  I’m not done exercising the chops I’ve built in business.  I’m not done learning, and my story isn’t finished. I was reminded that new things will be uncomfortable, but it's worth managing through the uncomfortable parts to grow and learn. 

I also learned that the only part of history my kids care about is how funny it is to say “Torkel Torkelson.”  I can’t wait to tell them about Lester and Esther.

Thanks to Torkel and Inger Torkelson and Jacob and Rakel Sollagson and many others before us for taking a risk to make a better life for your family.  May we all strive to leave things better for the future.

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