Am I Over The Burnout?

(I took this picture of a capybara in Chapeco, Brazil. I think she was also thinking about burnout. Being a giant rodent is hard work.)

There is no doubt in my mind I was dealing with burnout after last year at an unprecedented level. I made some drastic changes at the beginning of the year to try to relieve the stress and get on the road to recovery. But, am I over the burnout? How do I know?

I recently went back to the book Burnout, by sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski, to see if I could find some help to answer these questions. They point out, although the stressors have been removed, you need to complete the stress cycle. “All you need to do is recognize that you feel incrementally better than you felt before you started.” So what evidence do I have I’ve completed the cycle, and am I ready to move forward?

Sleep and Hugs

I realized the other day the days I wake up in the middle of the night are few and far between. These were days to be celebrated in the past. Although I sometimes stay up too late watching or reading something, I’m able to fall asleep easily and sleep straight through on most nights. My Advil PM sits lonely in the dark closet.

Burnout has some great advice on recovering from stress. I’ve implemented the twenty-second hug with my kids. We hug and count to twenty and breathe together. It’s quite wonderful whether or not you are feeling stressed, and I give it five stars. A “must see”!

Less Irritability

I don’t remember a recent case of phone-throwing when attempting to reset a password or order food online or download an app and create an account. Having patience for this is quite a feat. Just ask my family. I find myself calm in most situations, unless it’s watching youth baseball, which is apparently stressful for many reasons. On most days, tournaments aside, I feel pretty relaxed.

Using Work Devices

I bought a mouse. When I left my job, I left my mouse on my desk. After our at least decade-long partnership, I’m sure it landed in the garbage can. I remember the IT guy coming to fix something in my office and reacting to my mouse as if he’d entered a museum. Yes, it was not the original color and had a cord, and yes, it looked like it was out of a movie from the early 2000’s, but it worked. I existed for six months without a replacement, but last week I went to Best Buy and got one. It’s cordless and has a cool design on it. We are new in our relationship, but I can see it blossoming soon.

Less Feeling Like The World Is Over And I’ve Failed

Aside from watching The Day After Tomorrow, I feel positive about the future. Going places without a mask and seeing people is a dream come true and certainly helps, not to mention all the work I’ve done with my coach, therapist, yoga instructor, friends and family.

Boredom: The Tipping Point

Remember that semester in college when you only took 12 credits and one of your classes was aerobics? I thought it would be awesome, but it turned out I was bored and idle, and an idle college student isn’t necessarily productive. Well, I think I’ve hit that point. It’s a sign. I’m ready for more. Plus, my blog posts are starting to sound similar, so it’s time to have something new to write about.

The Big “But”

But, the big “but,” I feel hesitation about adding more stressful activities back. I’m afraid. I’m afraid it’s going to feel like last year. Just because I no longer feel like we are all going to die if we go outside and I’m not on seven hours of Zoom calls daily doesn’t mean I don’t remember how it felt. It hasn’t been that long since I was able to write about why I left my job. Am I prepared to get back on the horse? If so, what horse? How fast is that damn horse going to run?

I had an exciting interview last week, but all I kept hearing was “Zoom call” this and “Zoom call” that. I hope you all are starting to get some reprieve and rest from the constant virtual meetings. I heard from a friend who said her co-worker wasn’t wearing a shirt, just a sports bra, during a video meeting. Another good reason we need to reduce the video calls — people have forgotten how to put on shirts.

There is only one thing for me to do and it’s to do something. I need to say yes to something and start. Burnout says, “Wellness is not a state of being, but a state of action.” They fail to discuss whether or not that action is easy in the middle of summer, but here we are.

Incrementally Better

My assessment is I’m incrementally better and ready for action. I’m not all the way better, but I’m ready to use my new mouse and see what it feels like again. I don’t have to sign up to tackle the world yet. I need to take one of those boiling pots of opportunities I’ve been tending and strain the noodles and eat them. I hope those of you who haven’t completed the stress cycle can take some time to rest and acknowledge that you, too, need to recover from the stress. Go give someone a twenty-second hug, take a vacation, take a deep breath and recognize you deserve it.