This Week’s Magic Carpet Ride

(Photo: Downtown Denver, January 2020)

Come along with me on a magic carpet ride through this week’s hodgepodge list of reflections. Feel free to play the song at some point. I do so loudly when my kid’s are at school, because my singing is still evidently embarrassing. Here’s what I’ve been working on:

Give Yourself A Chance Of Feeling Good

I read an article this week about our collective need to feel better (almost) post-pandemic. The author explained that many of us are still feeling isolated and the work-from-home video conference culture has limited our ability to truly connect. The author says to give yourself a chance of feeling good by going outside the house and making interactions happen. Have coffee with someone. Drive a new route to a new store or restaurant. Meet someone new. Start a walking group. Have a face-to-face conversation with a three-dimensional being, one I can smell, see and hug. I had a two-hour, soul-feeding coffee with my neighbor. I saw a former European colleague this week in real life. We hadn’t seen each other in person since March 2020 in South Africa. Although seemingly a lifetime ago, we picked back up like it was yesterday. There was a deep sense of appreciation for being able to sit across from each other and connect again and a mutual, unspoken understanding and respect for our survival and growth. Never underestimate the power of a good, in-person tears, beers and laughs session and be prepared for the intensity of post-Covid reunions to continue.

Be Honest With Yourself

This week I made a spreadsheet to evaluate the opportunities I’ve turned down since April. It included columns labeled “reason for saying no” and “what’s missing?”. I also created a tab called “job vision” to list out my needs with a deeper dive of what I’m looking for and then forced myself to be even more specific. A pattern emerged: The opportunities were missing a lot of what I said I wanted in my job vision from March. The hard reality is that I have been hanging in my comfort zone, looking at things that come to me and sticking mostly around what I know. Not so surprisingly, I ultimately haven’t wanted to take any of those jobs. I could see clearly in the evaluation how I need to redirect my efforts. It’s important to note the analytical evaluation provided clarity and helped prevent me from the toilet-bowl swirling thoughts of “what I am doing wrong?” So now I just have to be more honest with myself about what I want and go look for it. I need to remember the vision. Easy, right? Some days it feels like I’m getting nowhere, and others it feels like the whole world has changed.

Wagging Finger Versus Willing Heart

I have been listening to Emotional Agility by Susan David (thanks, Jeremy!). This book is a positive reflection on how to frame and manage difficult emotions and how to align your values and actions for a happier journey. One of my favorite things she writes:

“The more you move toward your values, the more vital, effective and meaningful your life is likely to become.”

She also talks about the wagging finger versus the willing heart. She explains the difference in motivation between something you want to do versus something you have to do. It’s much easier to move through the difficult emotions and keep motivation when it’s something you want to do (willing heart) versus something someone is telling you to do (wagging finger). I see application both personally and professionally, as a parent, a leader and a person with goals and dreams. How can we help others and ourselves see the reason to believe and want to do something?

Fly

“Close your eyes, look inside now” and also get outside, give yourself a chance to feel good. Make a color-coded spreadsheet, be honest about your values and be brave enough to steer the magic carpet where you want to go.