Writing Is Like Having A Tattoo Of Your Ex’s Face

Thanks to the baristas at The Coffeesmith in Waukee for letting me photograph their beautiful tattoos!

Tattoos Are Forever

I’m three months out now from officially being off the payroll. It’s taken a lot of work to get through the emotional rollercoaster of quitting, but I’m no longer worrying about when my stomach is going to drop again, and I’m starting to enjoy the ride. I attended my first writer’s workshop last week, and it was weird and great and scary. I was energized by the people, the place, the education, but I’m not sure it made me burst out the doors, arms flailing, running to be a writer.

It turns out writing is a very personal thing. Most people writing a book have a very personal reason to do so — a story they need to tell. It’s a lot like a tattoo. Have you ever asked anyone about their tattoo and immediately realized you were entering into a very personal place? You might find out their dad committed suicide or they have embraced their sexuality or they are wearing a drawing their children made them. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Tattoos are forever, even if you stop loving the person’s whose name is on your bicep. They are a moment, a person, a date, a feeling you want to etch on your body forever. Writing is similar. Once you put a thought in the world, it’s out there forever. And you are writing things that lived safely tucked away in your brain and your heart, thoughts you created based on your unique experiences. Once you share it, it’s open for everyone’s opinion, ridicule and love. It’s no longer just yours. Have you ever posted something on social media and then frantically deleted it one minute later? Or written a whole email about warehouses and realize after it sent spell check changed it to “whorehouses”? It’s like that, but there’s no delete button or recall function.

Keeping Some Clothes On

I had no idea what sharing my writing was going to stir up. My therapist told me maybe don’t be naked in my writing, maybe keep my underwear on at least. More than once, as I’ve considered writing, I’ve thought about the safety of a math or science problem, one with data and nice boundaries and an answer. Writing makes engineering seem safe!

Even singing seems easier. I’m comfortable singing someone else’s words, but singing my own song? That’s a whole new level of scary. I wrote a song once called “I Hate You”. I was clearly struggling with relationships at the time, and writing the song helped me process that I still had feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same. I’m a little embarrassed now when I think about singing that song, and my brother does his best to make sure it’s not forgotten, even though it never topped any chart. He still knows what buttons to push. That was one song, heard by a handful of people in my safety zone. A whole book of stuff coming from many personal experiences and my conclusions on life? I’m inviting a bunch of Lukes to push my buttons, on purpose.

Just Get The Tattoo Already

Bob Goff is the epitome of bravery. If you haven’t read his books, I highly suggest reading Love Does.

Bob doesn’t pause on getting his metaphorical tattoos. He winks at vulnerability as he’s conquering the world. Bob’s workshop was a pep rally for us to believe and share. He wants us to get the tattoo. He really wants us to succeed in writing the book.

For those of you who’ve ever gotten the actual tattoo or written a book or shared your art, I salute you. Even if you found out later those Chinese characters really mean “my mom wears socks” or your chest-covering tattoo is a heart with “Debbie” in the middle and your wife’s name is Melissa. Or if your tattoo was once a bad-ass lizard and it’s faded to look like a heart (sorry, Luke). You were brave enough to make a statement, to share something with the world. The world is better for it. I bet Debbie was happy. I know my life has been better because so many people decided to share what they’ve learned or who they are. Imagine life without stories? So, let’s go create. Get the tattoo already! Maybe keep your underwear on and pick a butterfly.