How Yoga Fixed Me

The Accident

I was carried out of the boat, unable to look down at my damaged legs. I knew it was bad; the pain was intense, but the shock of what happened was an emotional earthquake. Ten minutes prior I had been floating in the lake, in awe of how I could see my hands and legs clearly under the glassy water and grateful for being in such a beautiful place. Everything about the moments before is a beautiful memory of peace. Peace about making it through seven months of 2020. Peace about spending time in northern Wisconsin with our friends and into someone else’s bubble. We left our COVID cabin fever at home for a new, wonderful kind of cabin fever.

I am not an experienced water skier. Nor am I an adventurous sort when it comes to water sports. I prefer sports that require my body to move or lift things and not much else – running, volleyball, yoga, aerobics, weightlifting. I am, however, not afraid to try things and take risks. This is how I found myself water skiing for the second time in my life.

I got up on skis successfully a couple times for a brief ride, and honestly, that was enough for me. After my second ride, I was back in the starting position. Unsure what was next as the boat crew moved around, I loosened my grip on the handle while I floated on my back, knees bent, a soft breeze on my face.

Then it happened. The boat roared forward dragging the rope and handle between my legs at sonic speed. The handle grabbed my legs mid-thigh. Locked into my fascia with force, I was pulled forward in the water. Within a matter of seconds, the plastic handle on the rope rolled up my legs and propelled over my knees and the ride of my life was over. With searing pain, my imagination was running through its long list of bad outcomes. I was too scared to look at my legs.

Fast forward a week. Back home, after several days in bed with ice packs, pillows and ibuprofen, I accepted that I would eventually recover with no physical restrictions. I walked gingerly, pain with every step. There was a giant abstract art installation in the form of rainbow bruises on the front and back of my legs. Rope burns were tattooed into my thighs, and divots bisected the fascia on my legs – one big dip carved into each thigh. For the most part, it looked worse than it felt.

Two different doctors assured me nothing was broken. The sports medicine doctor suggested I do yoga to help stretch and build strength in my quad muscles as part of the healing process. Little did he know that yoga would do much more than that for me.

Blooming at Green Yoga House

I don’t remember when I first did yoga. I dabbled for many years, but never consistently. I’d attend free yoga in the park or on the beach during vacation. Megan, my sister-in-law, and I checked off a bucket list item at Yoga on the Rocks at Red Rocks Amphitheater. I joined yoga sessions with work colleagues in Shanghai led by a woman named Pear and in Denver with an instructor named Rachel who read poems during the poses. Yoga recovery sounded doable.

A “yoga near me” Google search found Green Yoga House, just a couple miles from my house with good reviews and a peaceful looking ad. I emailed the owner, Lily, to inquire about private lessons.

We did our first yoga session in the fall of 2020 on video per COVID rules. Lily was very focused and efficient on moving me through several stretches. The moves were emotionally and physically challenging, but at the end of an hour, I felt like I’d really accomplished something for the first time in a long time. After we ended the call, I wrote “You are an athlete” on a yellow Post-it note and stuck it to the bathroom mirror. Something about pushing my body to the limit awakened a dormant level of inner strength. After months of trying to keep everyone safe from a global pandemic, here was something I could control. Something I could work on and feel good about and a way to turn the accident into an opportunity.

For the next few months as my legs continued to heal, yoga with Lily become my rock, the thing that grounded me and showed me that I can accomplish things no matter how heavy and awful everything else is. It was one hour a week where all I had to do was breathe and see if I could reach farther than last time. When Lily had pushed me to a new limit on a pose she would say, “That is all.” It was both a relief and a reward.

Inside and Out

Thanks to burnout, I made a career change in early 2021. As I navigated this major life shift, Lily and I continued to work on my strength and flexibility, and yoga continued to ground me. Our sessions were more athletic and technical than my previous experiences, and I welcomed the knowledge Lily brought to my practice and the life advice she sprinkled in. Lily reminded me through yoga that my body was capable of so much more than I had been giving it credit. And yoga reinforced with me the connection with body and mind. Stretching farther and building strength was a mirror for my emotional journey. Loving my body and the things it was able to do gave me a foundation to fix what was wrong inside as well; a reminder not to be afraid of being a little uncomfortable, a reminder that the other side of the work is the reward.

A New Place

Lily’s home studio transported me to a new place, not the Iowa I knew. A place of peace and strength, set in the woods and decorated minimally with clean, Asian influence, reflecting her family’s culture of origin. A retreat located a couple miles from my house.

Lily and I became fast friends. Over the last several years, we’ve covered just about every topic during yoga – travel, finances, parenting, aging – sometimes via video while one of us was on the other side of the world. While we talk, we work, and some point along the way, the poses we started with no longer hurt and my body looks forward to stretching and balancing and finding the next level. During these workouts, yoga loosens both my physical and emotional tension; I find space to listen to my body and my heart.

Because of the confidence I’ve gained with yoga, I tried other athletic classes and have increased my overall activeness with Zumba, cycling and paddle board yoga. I hunt for yoga classes when I’m traveling for work. Each summer at the lake in Wisconsin, my friends-like-family and I do yoga on the dock in the morning. I am officially retired from water skiing, but the experience is a good reminder that life’s unexpected challenges can bring good things to your life. For me, the skiing accident brought me Lily and yoga and a new understanding of how you can build strength physically, emotionally and mentally at any age. It’s also brought me closer to the people who were with me during the accident.

Lily is a peace lily for me. One with very strong roots, grounded with a quiet inner strength and wisdom to guide others to bloom into their best self. I’m so grateful to have her as a friend and to have yoga as part of my journey.