2022: From Surviving To Thriving

Grow In The Chaos

This year is starting to feel like what Robin Williams’ Jumanji character must have felt several years into his captured-in-the-game experience. At some point, you accept the situation. You learn to live with the chaos swirling about. You learn to recognize and manage new threats, while downgrading the threat level for some. You learn new patterns, acquire new skills and focus on what you can control. You go from surviving to thriving, and hopefully, through the process, instead of becoming a bitter, cynical version of yourself, you’re now a thriving, more resilient human, even if your clothes are now a mess and you have a caveman beard.

You’re A Bad Habit To Break

Last year, I made big changes in my life. There have also been many incremental movements, not as obvious, that are starting to add up. In James Clear’s Atomic Habits, he advises to build new systems to support the habits you want, and repeat the small things everyday that lead to big changes. Decide what kind of person you want to be; then, do the things that type of person would do. As I look at the donuts on the counter, I ask, “What would a healthy person do?” Which is a bad example, because, well, Krispy Kreme. I also ask, “What would a thriving person do in 2022?”

Add It Up

I recently had a 2021 “a-ha” moment (Siri, play Take On Me). Reflecting on last year, and one month into this level of Jumanji, I’ve realized a pattern: What if everything is a little better? What if many of the small things every day were all just a little bit better? What if you can stop dreading some of the things in your life that you perceive as stressful? Can you imagine the additive effect? I can, because that’s how 2021 ended up feeling for me.

We all have repeat events during the day or week or year, things we dread that cause our lives to be less brighter. Some are little, like why can I never remember my password to my (name any) account? Some are big, like why does Christmas (most holidays) seem like such a burden every year? I notoriously hate trying to sign my kids up for summer camps, like waiting to call Ticketmaster at midnight. Doing taxes, managing emails, going to your least-favorite conference — these events are going to happen during the year, whether you like it not. And as a good Midwesterner, I am well-trained to push through hard stuff. I mean, if you can’t scoop twelve inches of snow in below-zero weather, you are not allowed your Iowan card. It’s not cool to complain. But it turns out, it’s pretty cool to make new normals if those little shifts, slight adjustments and sometimes tough conversations lead to a better way.

Work It, Own It

I started a new approach in 2021, and I feel the difference. Instead of accepting the inevitable and just getting through things, here’s what I’m doing:

1. Recognize that something isn’t working
2. Accept that I don’t have to just survive it
3. Make a new plan to experience this thing
4. Try out the new plan and see how it feels
5. Be pleasantly surprised

I used this approach several times last year, and my ability to follow the steps continues to improve. I enlisted help on making the plans, and sometimes it required tough conversations. It’s not easy to admit to yourself something is not working, and it’s not always easy to have these conversations with others. But people surprise you. Sometimes you’re not the only one bothered, and the people who truly care about you will work together to find solutions.

So, give yourself a break. Find a few things that aren’t working and make a new plan. Bonus! Improving what you can control provides relief from those scary things that continue to be out of our control. If you bump your knee on the same table every morning, move it. If you don’t like going to some event, don’t go, or make a plan to make it more enjoyable. When you get to the end of 2022, you will be able to look back and say you took the rhinoceros by the horns, made friends with the creepy hunter guy and leveled up to a better place.